The Cause of Our Broken Hearts: Part 1 of 2

Elie Wiesel wisely reflected that “Whoever survives the test must tell their story. That is their duty.”

This notion of sharing one’s story to perhaps help someone else who is coming along after has always resonated with me. It is the reason why I wrote my book.

And now I have another story to tell on behalf of my little family. We have been holding it since June 27th 2022; bearing the burden of it for 2.5 years. It prevented us from being fully engaged in our lives. It shattered our assumptions of the world. It confirmed my deeply held belief that people cannot be trusted. It consumed us day and night. My rage was so deep and primal that my heart took on the shock and disbelief resulting in its brokenness.

This is, at its root, a cautionary tale.

Although, we arrived at the threshold of this new year with the intention of leaving it all behind in 2024 and no longer putting our energy into it, it is important to us that  we tell the tale. It is our one last ditch effort to perhaps warn others, offer some protection to those who may be as naïve as we once were and so that this experience was not in vain.

In the early hours of June 27^th 2022, my husband, Tim, and I discovered that our daughter, Meredith’s, trusted night nurse was physically abusing her. For those who do not follow my writing, our daughter is disabled with severe cerebral palsy and medical fragility from a hypoxic event at the time of her birth in 2003. She requires 24-hour care which we provide with support in our home. Originally, her life expectancy was age 7 or 8 however at the time of this discovery, she was 18 ½ years old.

Curious about a loud noise heard in the night, my husband checked video footage from a camera that was placed in our daughter’s room to allow nursing staff to monitor her from an adjacent living room. At 6:30am, he showed me images of the nurse ‘mishandling’ our daughter.  We called the nursing agency that employed her by 9am and by noon, via Zoom, we shared six short video clips after a quick scan of the saved footage. The personnel present were visibly disturbed by what they saw. The agency immediately engaged with their National Clinical Quality department and an investigation was launched. Within a couple of weeks, the nurse’s employment was terminated and the outcome of their investigation was filed as a report with the College of Nurses of Ontario (CNO).

On July 26, 2022, we launched a formal complaint with the CNO. We submitted the original video clips and added two more complaints from two other incidents in March and April of that same year that, in retrospect, demonstrated her ongoing negligence. After spending many hours reviewing recordings of the other shifts she worked that week in late June, we had 59 recorded incidents of roughness, abusive behaviour and assault contained in sixteen 30-minute video clips from five, 9-hour shifts.  The camera used to monitor our daughter only records 7 days of footage at a time.

I answered the last question on the CNO’s complaint form regarding what we thought a good outcome would be with the following: “We trust this will be thoroughly investigated and that the CNO will conclude that this despicable behaviour violates the Standards of Practice and Code of Conduct of the nursing profession in Ontario. Due to the extraordinary medical complexities and profound disabilities of our daughter, Meredith, we are determined to do whatever it takes to protect the public and ensure that she can never work with vulnerable people in any capacity. Her license to practice should be terminated permanently for deliberately, consistently and repeatedly abusing this exceptionally vulnerable person who was entrusted to her care.”

We were confident that in a short matter of time, the CNO would be just has horrified as we were and would promptly suspend her license. It should be noted that given the extent of the abuse our daughter experienced, we also contacted the Ontario Provincial Police to file criminal charges against the nurse.

Imagine our shock and disbelief when 10 months after filing the initial complaint to the CNO, we received a decision that did not include an investigation by their Discipline Committee but instead, a mere scolding. From the CNO website: “Following a hearing, and when appropriate, the Discipline Committee has a number of options, including the power to revoke, suspend and/or put terms, conditions or limits on a nurse’s registration. Only a Discipline Panel can make a finding of professional misconduct or incompetence.”

With all the video evidence and detailed timestamped notes, the Inquiries, Complaints, and Reports Committee (ICRC), deemed it unnecessary to forward the investigation to the Discipline Committee. To say we were blindsided by this decision would be a gross understatement. The CNO, whose mandate is to protect the public, did not see this abusive treatment (plus the other acts of professional negligence contained in 12 other video clips) as worthy of being investigated by their Discipline Committee.

Their engagement has been deemed worthy in many other cases, for example, if a nurse is caught drinking on the job; peeking into a patient chart that is not their patient’s, providing a false certificate of receiving the COVID-19 vaccine or slapping an elderly person on the arm with a slipper ONE time – but NOT if a nurse repeatedly abuses a very disabled, defenseless, non-verbal person.

From the very beginning, our primary mission in pursuing disciplinary action was protecting the public. While we could not undo the damage done to our family and especially to our daughter, we strongly felt that with a complaint filed to the CNO and the OPP we could at the very least prevent this from happening to someone else. We chose to take the high road and go through the proper channels to ensure this nurse could never abuse another vulnerable person.

As angry and heartbroken as we were, we were not out for revenge. We were, however, immensely afraid for others. We knew countless families were unaware that the person entrusted to the care of their vulnerable loved one could be under investigation by both their professional college as well as the criminal justice system and still be allowed to work with limited restrictions.

We waited for 10 months before the CNO finally came to a decision, then another 10 months AFTER that (18 months since the assaults occurred) for the OPP to finally charge the nurse with two counts of assault.

Appalled by the CNO’s decision, we decided to appeal it and one year later, on July 11th 2024, we finally had our appeal hearing with the Health Professions Appeal and Review Board (HPARB) regarding the CNO’s decision. Aside from the original complaint form filled out within a few weeks of this nightmare occurring, I was given a few moments to express the impact of this nurse’s actions. At the end of the 3-hour hearing, we were informed that they would review all contributions and come to a decision within a few MONTHS. We could not fathom how the video evidence of the consistent abuse of our daughter by a trusted professional, an open and closed case, met such acceptance and invalidation by the systems put in place to protect the public and to discipline the perpetrator.

And still, we had hope. There were countless times that we wanted to throw in the towel yet we remained hopeful that if we bided our time, justice would eventually prevail. The Crown Attorney assured us that although she would fight for the highest punishment allowed, including jail time, the ultimate goal was to prevent this nurse from practicing in any setting where vulnerable people were involved. What happened next was something we never considered a possibility.

In a pre-trial meeting (related to the criminal charges) held on October 4 2024, a Judge decided that a conviction would be improbable due to the College of Nurse’s ICRC committee’s original decision on April 19 2023 (**we were not notified until May 10 2023). Even though the ICRC failed to do a thorough investigation and request evidence that was readily available or provide an opportunity for us, the complainants, to answer questions (which ultimately led to our appeal), the Judge would not pursue any sort of punishment.

The nurse agreed to enter into an 810 Court Order (peace bond) in Nov. 2024. The minimal conditions are in place for 12 months. It is something and yet, still feels like a slap in the face. While we have struggled to make sense of this last 2+ years and have had to deal with the aftermath of this unimaginable trauma, the nurse has been actively employed in a hospital setting caring for vulnerable people who have no idea she was investigated for (and is guilty of) the abuse of a non-verbal, disabled and extremely vulnerable person.

On December 23^rd 2024, we were informed that HPARB agreed with the CNO’s original decision and just like that, we hit the end of the road without one shred of justice.

The public needs to be aware of the shortcomings of the professional bodies whose mandate is to protect them and to keep tabs on their registrants. Having a registered nurse caring for your loved one no longer meets the high standards that nurses have had to maintain in the past. My own mother was a Registered Nurse for over 40 years and cannot fathom how the College of Nurses of Ontario could have such incredibly low standards for their nurses.

Are we so desperate for nurses in Ontario post pandemic that we no longer punish those who fail to meet the 6 Principles of the College of Nurses Code of Conduct which are:

1. Nurses respect the dignity of patients and treat them as individuals.
2. Nurses work together to promote patient well-being.
3. Nurses maintain patients’ trust by providing safe and competent care.
4. Nurses work respectfully with colleagues to best meet patients’ needs.
5. Nurses act with integrity to maintain patients’ trust.
6. Nurses maintain public confidence in the nursing profession.

We are certain that we are not the only ones in this situation and expect other families have had to live with the lack of justice for a family member who has been abused by a registered nursing professional. We wonder about the families who may not have had the means or ability to keep trudging forward but instead were forced to accept a decision that was blatantly wrong and favoured the professional.

The CNO’s negligence in thoroughly investigating and taking the proper action in disciplining this nurse set the stage for all that followed. We have reflected on the last two years and eight months and have been continually let down, shocked, and profoundly confused by the decisions made by the powers that be.

And so, this is our last ditch effort to inform the public that they need to take serious precautions in protecting their loved ones. Those registered nurses who take pride in their choice of career should be appalled to know that the professional body that they pay registration fees to condones unacceptable and despicable behaviour by their colleagues.

My husband and I hope that by going public and sharing our story that there will be some healing in knowing that we have helped others in avoiding a similar tragedy.